Soul's Everending Circles
by Sacrificial Awakening
Summary: Songfic: Hollywood Undead "Circles". Soul's POV. Did not use full song but enough to cover the plot of it.


**Songfic on Soul Eater. I watched this movie on YouTube and was like 'I so got to make a fanfiction with that!' So kudos to the original person who made it! **

**Disclaimerette: Soul Eater belongs to its respective owners. Which, sadly, is not me.**

**And I do not own or have any claim to "Circles, Hollywood Undead" or their lyrics.**

* * *

__xSoulx__

_"Circles"  
Hollywood Undead_

--

_Take my hand lets go,  
Somewhere we can rest our souls._

Maka. My technician. Ever since the day we met, I've felt almost _possesive _over you. Like I would never let you go, even if you began to think that I was a monster who just craved you. I wanted you for myself; I didn't want anyone else to have you. Your idiotic father would never seem to let go of his "iron grip" on your life, yet you'd never show that you actually did care for your father's well-being. Your mother would stop you dead in your tracks if you even thought for a fleeting second that you wanted to leave. I wanted to run away, flee somewhere...

_We'll sit where it's warm,  
You say look we're here alone._

Somewhere where it would be just you. And just me. Alone. No one would interfere.

_I was running in circles,  
I hurt myself,  
Just to find my purpose._

But even through your thick but fragile skin, I could never see the return of such emotions. I always thought it was one-sided. Always unrequited...dying love... I would follow in your shadow. Lurking in the shadows...completely oblivious to your awareness. I started to feel changes, mentally. Taking over my soul... I became emotionally abusive. And you slipped away from me. Not like you were mine to have... I was holding onto you by my fingertips. Slipping more and more by each day. I was hurting...in _pain_. It wasn't bleeding, but it hurt. In my heart. Like a dying sensation, it ached and yearned for you...

_Everything was so worthless,  
I didn't deserve this,  
But to me you were perfect._

Everything was falling apart without you. I didn't want to be this way anymore. I felt so...so...incomplete without you. Not in the way I was before I met you. More like...my heart was ripped from its place in my body. I could live without my heart; I could live without my soul. But I couldn't live without _you_. Maka Albarn. You were the sun to my lightless world. The bright against the darkness. You had the loving heart that could melt away my frost bitten spirit. I was living in a polar frost of hate, but when you came along, blizzards seemed like sunny days out in the park to me. _With you here..._

_I'm scattered through this life.  
If this is life I'll say good bye._

I almost became suicidal, but I just could not live in a place where you weren't. I didn't want to end it, not yet that is. I just needed to know...

_She's gone like an angel,  
With wings let me burn tonight._

You walked away with your halo blazing in golden radiance. I felt guilty for wanting you so much. It was selfish. To have you. It was like wanting to steal an angel from her place in Heavan. Your heart was of pure gold. Your soul was untainted from guiltiness or greed or lies or... This list could go on and on. And would go on and on...

_I was running in circles  
I hurt myself,  
Just to find my purpose._

I was lost without you. Forever driven away from the path I had chosen to walk along. Because of you... My mind could never function correctly anymore. My friends could never stand to see me tore up like this...They slowly faded away. Like antique dust...They fade with time...So quickly... I could not continue like this anymore...I wanted to die... I wanted to...

_Everything was so worthless,  
I didn't deserve this,  
But to me you were perfect._

I couldn't help but think everything was never meant to be for me. Worthlessness...The only thing I ever felt after I lost you... My heart could never thrum the right way after you. After you, life was so meaningless...so unforgiving...so...so...  
I kept repeating in my head that I could be stronger...but who was I kidding? I wanted to know how you were, but seeing your face would wipe away how far away I have gotten from healing. Resetting the process...making it even less endurable...

_I see me writin on this paper.  
Prayin for some savior.  
Wishin intake her and save her._

That perfect little world I imagined...was destroyed. But things that are destroyed can be rebuilt. This was not a matter to be rebuilt. It was pulverized. Never to return...ever again. Shattered... a dream that now lay in pieces...

_In a world so, so godless and thoughtless,  
I don't know how we wrought this,  
All the love that you brought us._

_Retracted... _

_It feels like I'm killin myself.  
Just wheelin myself.  
Just to pray for some help._

_Crippled..._

_I'd give it all just to have, have your eternity.  
Cause it's all that assures me.  
It's worth all that hurts me._

_Demoralized..._  
Not like I had that much to give to have you. I had nothing. Pain cleared me of that. Pain never really hurt, anymore. It was more..._relieving,_ than having to deal with your good-bye.

_I'd give you my heart,  
And let you just hold it.  
I'd give you my soul,  
But I already sold it._

_Oppressed..._

_On that day that day,  
The day I walked away in December.  
I will always remember.  
I'll regret it forever._

I didn't mean to give up. I didn't mean to walk away. But my greed told me that if I loved something very much to let it go. If it doesn't return, it wasn't meant to be your's. The poem ends there because you didn't return. You didn't turn around at least once. You were gone. I walked away from you. You had every right to disregard me and leave me to bleed. But it didn't stop with the pain. I could have survived through that. But the regret that filled the empty threat that pain opposed when I parted with you, made it...suffering... Pain was a walk in the park. Regret was a crippling force that knocked me off my feet, abused me, and left me to die...

_I remember brown eyes,  
So sad and blue skies.  
Turned to darkness and night.  
I'm so sick of the fight._

Your eyes, so disappointed in what _could have been_, were so sad that day. Not in the pain _mine _were in. Nothing could amount to _that..._But in curious disappointment. Disheartened concern. The darkness blanketed over. Creating my own world of self-inflicted wounds that made me feel at home...

_I won't breathe unless you breathe,  
Won't bleed unless you bleed.  
Won't be unless you be,  
'Till I'm gone and I can sleep._

--

"Ah, _aaah,_" I groaned. My hand fitted in both of warm palms, meant for reassuring. My body thrashed as my head was filled with painful, mental images. I wanted to scream. Wail all the pain out, just like she did when she got into problems with her closest of friends... But that would've been so _uncool_...

"Soul-kun?" her voice filled with worriment. Pure, honest, _sincere_ distress for _me_.

I opened one eye once my tantrum was over. "Ah, it's nothing." I shrugged off my thin, hospital blanket. "It was just a nightmare."

* * *

**Huh? Huuuh?! How was it? Was it dramatic enough? Was it good? TELL ME!**


End file.
